When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
the movie actually managed to make me laugh pretty hard with this omg
Are you a virgin?
So I have a pet duck who is special needs. I saved Spuck from being culled as a duckling and he imprinted on me, but I go to college on the other side of the country. This was my duck’s reaction after seeing me for the first time in 4 months